When we frist
starting talking about moving here to Chepo, I was immediately worried about
our daughters and how they would react to a big move. I read advice on helping children deal with
moving, and but much of it into practice; things like having a special treat
waiting for them when we arrived. And I
read about how to help myself deal with moving into a new context, particulary how to deal with culture shock.
So I thouht I would
share some about what heped me through
this process. Perhaps it can help some
one who is in the middle of a move, especially a move across cultures.
The first advice I
would give is to allow yourself time to ajsut.
For Alex, once the furniture was moved into the house and set up, he
felt settled. He was amongst his own
people, and felt at home quickly. The
friendships he formed were rewarding, and the ministry opportunities
encouraging.
While I was also
excited about the ministry, and sure that this was the right thing for our
family, adjusting to living in a new context was not so easy. I struggled, wondering why I couldn't adjust
so quickly. But giving myself permission
to go through the process helped immensly.
Looking back, I can
laugh a little at our first month, and it's obvious why it was hard to settle
in.
First of all, we
were without electricity for the first three weeks. Our evenings were spent in candle light,
clothes were washed by hand, I couldn't use my coffee maker, or even our alarm
clock. I spent many evenings at home in
a dark house with the girls while Alex was at church events. One evening my candles burned down to nothing
and I didn't have the flashlight with me.
Being without
electricity wasn't all bad. The girls
spent their days running around in the yard since there were no movies to keep
them inside. And they got to bed early
every night. We even started a fun
tradition with Abigail. One evening I
was looking for a way to entertain
Princess and I started telling her stories about when I was a little girl
(reading by candle light was difficult).
She loved them so much that she now asks for them every night.
The other difficult
thing was that I came down with a flu and spent the first week here out of
commission. It's hard to feel happy
about being somewhere when you are laying on a coach, looking looking at mess
all around you and too sick to do anything about it.
There were other
adjustments as well. Not having internet
has made communication difficult. And
the constant presence of neighbors and neighborhood kids was hard to get used
to.
But get used to it
we did. We learned that if we wanted to
have a quiet morning at home, that we should leave the door locked. And I learned that after chewing out the
nighbors boys a couple of times over their misbehavior, they either stayed away
or behaved themselves.
So my advice is to
give yourself time. Don't expect it to
feel like home right away, or for that process to come easy for you.
I also think that
there are things that you can do to help that process happen. One was a piece of advice that I read in
regards to dealing with culture shock.
And it said that to overcome culture shock, you should take small steps
towards contentment. To me that meant
finding small things that I could change to make this feel more like home to
me. Even a small thing like hanging a
mirror helped.
Along with that goes
thankfulness. For all the things that I
couldn't change, I tried to still be thankful.
Even though our nieghbors are always around, I am glad that we get along
with them. I am greatful for the free mangos we get, for living in a house that
has a good roof that keeps the rain out, even if not all is as I would wish
it. I am thankful for all the people
that God has put into our lives here, even if they don't really replace those
friendships that we left behind. I am
thankful for the open doors, even though sometimes there are too many, and we
are too busy.
I am even thankful
that while we were without internet, God provided good friends who were willing
to share their internet, and a local business that offers internet for $.95 and
hour. I am thankful that we have gotten
the rough cement floor of the house cleaned up enough that there isn't cement
dust covering every inch of our house anymore.
I tried to pass on
that thankfulness to our girls, even when I didn't totally feel it myself. The first day, when I was overwelmed with a
house full of furniture to be arranged, we found little things to be excited about. Like the fact that the toilet is pink
(Princess' favorite color). Even though I didn't feel very excited about
anything at that moment, we made a big deal about how special it was to have a
pink toilet. While the girls enjoyed
that, and running around the yard all day, they didn't notice all the amenities
that our new house didn't have. Home is
home. And this past weekend, when we
went back for the first time to visit the YWAM base since we have left, I made
sure to explain to them that we wre just going to visit, because our home was
here now. Princess asked why we wouldn't
be moving back there. And I was able to
tell her with complete honesty:
"Because we
like our new house, we are happy here."
It felt good to be able to say that.
Not just to say that God guided us to live here, or that we are here to
teach Wounaan people about the Bible.
But that we want to be here because we like it.
I am sure that not
all the adjustments have been made, and there will still be moments when I wish
I was somewhere else. But this feels like home now. And that's a big step to
have taken.
