We are packing again. I seem to be forever packing for a trip, unpacking from a trip, cleaning up after a trip or cleaning the house before we leave on another trip.
We are leaving early this afternoon for the coastal community of Platanares. We are going with our friends Steve and Malana Ganz for a week of teaching.
Last night as we started packing my three year old was convinced that I needed her help. She began packing randon items into whatever bags she could find. I have a large bag full of material and clothes waiting to be mended, someday when I get my sewing machine repaired. She decided that everything in that bad HAD to go. Around bedtime she had a total meltdown when Alex and I told her that we WERE NOT packing that bag. Fifteen minutes later, after I remembered that she had skipped her afternoon nap, she was asleep.
This morning, as I finished throwing in last minute things, I kept finding ramdom items that she had put in when I wasn't looking, like the remote control to our fan, which she is convinced is a cell phone.
Life in missions is crazy, unpredictable, exciting and confusing at times. I often wonder how all this traveling will effect my children. Will they look back and remember the adventures fondly, the times spent together, the beautiful views of the ocean, the friendships formed? Or will they remember the heat, the bugs, the tiredness, the tears when they try to go to sleep in a strange place, surrounded by strange sounds and sights? Will they thank us for giving them such diverse experiences and opportunities, the chance to see life as many children never will? Or will they lament the things and experiences they could have had growing up in the US?
Ultimately, there is no way to know. The future has not yet been written. Right now we can only take the next step, trying to keep our hearts close to the Shepherd so that he can guide us in the next step. We can only be thankful for what we have, keep our minds on the people we can impact, the lives we can touch and lives that may be changed forever.
With our children we can only stay close to their hearts, listen to their fears, comfort them, challenge them, help them grow where we are today.
Now our bags are all stacked by the door. The girls keep coming up and asking when we are going on the boat and I am telling them very soon. Thankfully, they are excited about this trip. Going on the boat is nothing new, and they have long since stopped complaining about the life jackets. I know they will enjoy the fresh shrimp and fish we will eat, and likely spend hours running to and fro with the local kids.
As we go out, I am praying that the bugs won't be too bad, wondering if I am a bad missionary for dreading those bugs, and having to use outhouses. But bad missionary or not, I am willing. I think that is enough for God to use me, to use our family.
